Posts Tagged ‘confidence’

Take a breather…..

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Its been a couple of months since my last blog/newsletter, if you have followed my recent set of  newsletters, you will be aware that I have been focussing each month on a useful technique for helping you respond better to something/someone that causes you to become stressed.

For a recap of these, you can go to http://www.nickmeredith.co.uk/blog (or if you are already here, simply see articles lower down the page)

Now, of course, I am not saying that every technique will work for everyone every time, but I do urge you to try each one out and see whether it does work for you in different situations.

This month, I am going to focus on a technique that that is very easy, very effective and costs nothing (until somebody finds a way of installing an oxygen meter between our mouth, nose and lungs, that is!) – You’ve guessed it, its called breathing properly.

Any clients that have been to see me for help with stress, anxiety, drepression, panic, phobias etc. will know that I almost always teach a powerful technique called “7-11 breathing”, which is very effective at “in the moment” management of stress. More about that later….

If you want to skip the facts, and move straight to the “how to do it”  bit, then click here, otherwise, sit back, slow down your breathing and read on.

Firstly, here are some interesting “facts” about breathing (based on some quick web research)

  • The average person only uses around 20% of their lung capacity
  • Breathing correctly is critical for maintaining the level of oxygen (O2) for energy, keeping the correct levels of Acid/Alkaline in the body, and enough Carbon Dioxide (CO2) for bodily functions
  • Healthy people make 93% of their energy aerobically (in presence of O2) but poor breathing can reduce this to 84%
  • 70% of body waste is elimited through breathing
  • A well known clinical study (Framlingham) over 30 years, provided convincing evidence that the most significant factor in peak health and longevity is how well you breathe

referencehttp://breathing.com/articles/clinical-studies.htm#Clinical%20studies%20i

What is “bad” breathing?

Typically this is when you are delivering less air per breath (than normal) into the lungs, especially through shallow (chest) breathing. It seems common sense then that less air per breath requires more breaths per minute to take in the required amount. This in turn causes a cascade of physiological changes that include

  • constricted blood vessels (by not breathing in properly)
  • an imbalance of CO2 and O2 in the blood. CO2 is a vital byproduct of our metabolism and is important in helping to maintain the balance between acid and alkaline in the body
  • an adverse effect on the body’s ability to eliminate toxins (by not breathing out properly)

What happens if there is an imbalance of CO2 and O2?

Too much CO2  and not enough O2 can amongst other things create low feelings feelings and fatigue.

Too much O2 and not enough CO2 can lead to an agitated state, however a restricted supply of oxygen can also contribute to panic attacks, anxiety and sometimes phobic responses.

Conversely, stress, anxiety and emotions can also adversely affect your breathing – your natural fight or flight response increases respiration which is more likely to result in faster chest breathing (as above) and once breathing has led you  into an aroused state, the physiological effects on the body remain until the stressor has gone.

Bad breathing is more likely to be conducted through the mouth (rather than the nose) which means that you could exhale large volumes of air quickly, leading to symptoms of hyper ventilation.

As a demonstration of some of the above points (strictly only for those of you who don’t have problems with panic attacks), just spend 10-20 seconds breathing in really quickly and shallower than you normally would – notice what happens! When I do this, within seconds I feel an immediate rush of adrenaline into my legs  and my hands start to sweat (as my brain starts to activate the fight or flight response).

Telling somebody who is feeling anxious, to breathe in deeply could make them feel worse. A person feeling anxious will already probably have exceeded their optimal CO2 levels, and deep breathing may cause them to breathe faster or hyperventilate (as the body speeds the breathing up to redress to CO2 and O2 balance) . It is more helpful to get them to breathe slowly. (see 7-11 breathing later)

What is “good” breathing?

Think about the opposite of bad breathing and you have pretty much got it. We all know how to breathe, and we all do it automatically (unconsciously) without even thinking about it (apparently over 17000 times per day!). With good breathing, you are aiming to redress and keep the O2 and CO2 levels at an optimum balance. In the beginning, you will need to consciously focus on your breathing to help change the habit.

The key point is to breathe as SLOWLY as possible, with the out breath longer than the in breath using the the diaphragm rather than the chest. Ultimately you want to get from an average of 12 breaths per minute to just 4 breaths per minute.

To help with this, there is a useful technique called 7-11 breathing, and this aims to achieve the above. It goes like this,

  • breathe in for a count of 7, hold for a short while
  • then breathe out for a count of 11
  • It can help to imagine that you have got a balloon (choose a calming colour for it) under your diaphragm and you are using the breathing to fill it and exhale it (count for 7 and out for 11 )

Make sure that when you are breathing in, you are doing deep ‘diaphragmatic breathing’ (your diaphragm moves down and pushes your stomach out as you take in a breath) rather than shallower higher lung breathing. If you find that it’s difficult to lengthen your breaths to a count of 7 or 11, then reduce the count to breathing in for 3 and out to 5, or whatever suits you best, as long as the out-breath is longer than the in-breath. Continue in this way for 5-10 minutes or longer if you have time – and enjoy the calming effect it will have on your mind and body. I would also suggest using your nose unless you find it too uncomfortable.

There is also another way to remember it, called 4-7-8 breathing (breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, out for a count of 8)

The technique is effective because out-breaths stimulate what is called the Parasympathetic Nervous System, a natural bodily response that enables you to ‘rest and digest’ as opposed to ‘fight or flight’ (the Sympathetic Nervous System). Slow out-breaths decrease your blood pressure, dilate your pupils and slows your heart rate – lowering emotional arousal in the process.

reference:  Human Givens: A New Approach to Emotional Health and Clear Thinking (Paperback) , by Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell

Don’t give up

Now, its almost certain that when you first try this, it will seem both unnatural and uncomfortable. That is because you will have years of practice of shallow, chest breathing. Lots of us (particularly blokes) are used to sucking our stomachs in to hide our middle age spread (obviously not me), and this means that we have unwittingly forced ourselves into chest breathing.

Finally, you will probably have to remind yourself to breathe in this way quite often in the beginning (before it becomes a habit). You will no doubt be aware of those times if you sit in front of a computer and TV for hours on end, deep in concentration, that you may have even even stopped breathing altogether at certain points! – it is therefore useful to have a reminder in your line of site telling you to “breathe properly”. Over time, like any habit, good breathing will become a natural function for you which you don’t even have to think about.

I have many emails and testimonials from clients telling me how useful 7-11 breathing has been for them with issues such as depression, anxiety, managing a panic attack, managing a phobic response or a fear of something, meeting nerves, exam nerves, driving test nerves, stress, calming down, public speaking, fear of flying, relaxing, dealing with anger, reducing fear in birth and labour and many more. So what are you waiting for, close this web page, start breathing properly and notice immediate and permanent benefits!!

Think about it, why is breathing so integral to most preparation/training routines for athletes, musicians, vocalists, public speakers and actors, and why it is so integral to practices like yoga, meditation and martial arts.

Are you an imposter?

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009
  • Do you ever feel like you are an imposter in your own job; waiting to be found out for the fraud that you are?
  • Do you often think that you are fooling your peers that you are more competent than you are?
  • Do you often think that your success is mostly down to luck and not your ability?
  • Do you normally brush off any personal successes as not a big deal and can’t accept praise for your success?

The label for this kind of thinking is “Imposter Syndrome” and it was recently featured on a Radio 4 documentary. Now you might be wondering what this has got to do with stress, and my opinion is “quite a lot!”. See my article from last month on “mind reading” to found out why (go to http://www.nickmeredith.co.uk/blog)

The good news is that “imposter thinking” is a lot more prevalent than you think and surprisingly, it seems to occur more often in high achieving and successful people (people across all professions who are normally regarded as very successful by their peers). In fact, the radio 4 programme revealed many well known and successful people who admit to regularly having such thoughts. I too recognise this as a common theme with some clients I have coached with self esteem, confidence and anxiety issues.

Research claims that many factors seem to contribute to this kind of thinking, including family situation and dynamics, early upbringing, harbouring a fear and negative beliefs about success and experiencing pressure not to fail. People will often exhibit behaviours which perpetuate this thinking, often leading to stress, including:

  • Being overly diligent because you perceive that you need to work harder and harder to avoid being “discovered” as an imposter [a sure way to increase chances of becoming stressed]
  • Brushing off compliments as a way of deflecting being “found out”
  • Avoiding showing any confidence in your abilities in ways such as not accepting promotions or opportunities to stand out in front of your peers [leading to frustration and stress because you are holding yourself back]

5 Tips to help you to respond better to this kind of thinking

v Remind yourself that if or when you are doing it, research says that several of your respected peers will be doing it at the same time.

v Find somebody that you can talk to about it. Get a reality check and realise that you are not alone!

v Identify how you think in this way i.e. what do you say or imagine to yourself when doing this? Gaining conscious awareness of what and how you do it is an important first step to stop it happening automatically. How would you teach somebody else to think in the same way? – it will help you bring all of the steps into your conscious awareness.

v Challenge your belief that just because it feels right to you that it is. Find contradictions from your past that challenge your belief. E.g. “I feel I don’t deserve to be here” can be challenged by “Just because I feel this, doesn’t mean it is true”.

v Apply the approaches from my previous article “What other people think about you is none of your business”.